He has been teaching me how to say ‘no,’ and how to productively self-care. As a result, I feel like the Lord has had me on a journey the past several years of establishing healthy boundaries with myself and others. I want to be the friend people feel safe confiding in the person people know they can count on and who can help them process through real emotions. For me that doesn’t necessarily mean I have to be physically helping someone (although I will help in that way too if needed)-my natural inclination is to be there for people emotionally. When I am not looking to Christ for my validation and identity, I equate being needed by others as love.
It has also helped me become more understanding and empathetic towards others.Īs a Type 2, I love to help others and want to feel needed. It’s a tool that has helped me understand myself better and has helped me become more aware of my underlying motivations. It gave language to behavior and thoughts I have always had but never knew how to express fully. I soon found that this tool was unlike any other personality test I had taken before. I was able to quickly determine I was likely a 2, and then kind of tossed it aside as ‘just another personality test.’ It wasn’t until several years later that the Enneagram resurfaced throughout discussions in my life, and I really started to dig in.
Wings? Triads? Arrows that move from growth to stress? 9 numbers? How will this help me?
I remember I was initially intrigued, as I am by most personality tests, but also felt really overwhelmed. I was first introduced to the Enneagram about 5 years ago by a former roommate. The Enneagram is simply a tool for self-discovery and personal growth based on 9 basic personality types. I want to help some people more than others, and actually, being giving/helpful is usually a means to an end (getting them to like me/love me).This September, we are featuring blogs and podcasts centered around the Enneagram. I don’t want to do everything for everyone or help everyone. I wish people knew that not all 2’s are these kind, spineless doormats (and that’s not even what being a 2 is about). What do you wish people knew about Enneagram 2s? I realized that I spent a lot of time doing things “in order to get someone to…”: notice me, befriend me, like me, care about me, etc. However, as I continued to look at the 2, I realized that my strong negative reaction to the number was likely a good indicator that I was on the right track. At first when I read about how 2’s kindness and helpfulness were just a manipulative means to an end (WHAT?! I’m not altruistically kind and generous?!), I really resisted identifying myself as a 2 (typical). I first read and identified as an Enneagram 2 in college (I was 20) while reading Richard Rohr’s Enneagram. When did you first realize you were Enneagram 2? Here are a couple of great resources for understanding Type 2’s: When I’m on autopilot, it means I’m not really aware that I have any needs.Īt the same time I can also be really resentful/angry that others don’t notice or take care of me or my needs (that I don’t understand or acknowledge).Īt the heart of things, being an Enneagram 2 (for me) means wrestling with a sadness and fear believing that I will never be enough, in and of myself, to be deeply loved. However, being an Enneagram 2 also means that my own thoughts, feelings, and needs are locked in a dark room somewhere inside of me that I can’t access let alone navigate without a huge amount of effort. I just said that Enneagram 2’s have a deep need to be liked/loved. I expend a huge amount of energy outward toward relationships and I spend a lot of energy and focus a huge amount of attention on whether or not people feel positively about me or love me. (The other posts will be released as they’re written, so stay tuned for a list of the different types!) What does it mean to be an Enneagram Type 2? Living Outside Myselfįor me, when I’m on autopilot, being an Enneagram 2 is about always being tuned in to the thoughts, feelings, needs, and actions of other people (especially “my people”), and living a life outside of myself without even realizing it.īeing an Enneagram 2 means being convinced that I know what it takes to get people to like/respect/love me, and that anything generous that I do I’m doing out of my own kindness and generosity.
#Enneagram type 2 series
Here are other types posted in the series so far: In this post, Melinda will be sharing about Type 2. In this series, someone from each Enneagram Type ( Types One through Nine) will be sharing about their own journey of discovering and using the Enneagram for deep healing and personal growth. My therapist colleague Melinda Olsen ( Inviterra Counseling) and I are writing several blog series about the Enneagram, a comprehensive yet compact personality framework that reveals our reactive, “autopilot” patterns of thinking, feeling, doing, and relating.
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